Brastachar

Lord Vishnu is angry. You can see it on His face. He is walking from one end of the giant lotus where He normally lies down at this time of the day, to the other. Not today. Today He is worried. Worried because He has been told by a group of Devtas just now that Indralok is about to go bankrupt. Unless He does something drastic and quick, it’s going to be the end of the Universe.

He still remembers the day when Bramha came to Him to warn. Brahma explained to him the revenue model of heaven. Not that He does not know about it, but after all the incarnations and a few thousand years on the trot, even Lord Vishnu is allowed to forget a few trivial things. Vishnu asked Brahma if those wonderful process excellence tools, invented by human can be used up here on Indralok to save a few bucks. “Not when Indra and his fellow Devtas consume 50,000 lit Somras everyday” Brahma was quick to reply. “Especially not when you insist on retaining the same old dancers like Urvashi & Menaka by doing plastic surgery” Narad was even quicker. “But the doctors have done a wonderful job” Vishnu thought aloud but did not say it for the fear of a stern look from Laxmi who has been insisting on a nose job from last 3 decades. Focus Vishnu focus – He brings back his mind to the heavenly issues again.

He calls for an emergency meeting of the Trinity council - Brahma, Vishnu, Maheshar. Actually it’s more of a one man show. Shiv, now a day is completely intoxicated. Nandi, apparently has experimented with so many varieties of grass that Mahadev now does not even need a chillum. Brahma is suffering from dementia and Vishnu wandered if the meeting will even last till lunch

“Team we have a problem” Vishnu opened with his usual calm voice. Today He was tense

Brahma: “Oh. I must have forgotten to flush the toilet”

Shiv: “That’s why I don’t tell Parvati where I keep my collection of..eh”

Vishnu:”Guys guys guys it’s not what you think. We have a code RED here and I need immediate attention from all of you”

Brahma:”What is code RED”

Shiv: “Give me Reeeeeeeeed. Huh huh ha”

 Vishnu:”We ARE red. Kaput. Khallas. No more money for your phoney trips or your old age medicine pals. Get up. Give me some hand here”

This made both Shiva and Brahma the jolt to bring them to the senses. Vishnu explained to them the revenue model of Indralok. “As you are aware, we print a million Mudras for every honest politician or Babu from our beloved earthly place called India. In the last couple of centuries we got fantastic brands like Gandhi, Ambedkar, Subhas which kept the Mudra value way below the Dollar giving us a fiscal surplus. But all of a sudden we stopped getting honest politicians and babus from India. Honest politicians are such a rarity in India that the term is taught as an example of oxymoron in schools now a days. So I need your advise on improving the situation”

 Shiv:”I heard about this guy called Anna. What about him? Can we bank on him?

Vishnu:”May be yes..may be no. The way his fellow partners are going......I am not sure”

Brahma being the practical guy, suggested a few business ideas. “Let’s print a Mudra for the air people breath every day. 120 Cr people... 120 Cr Mudras everyday.”

Vishnu:”Not a bad idea. I think all the internet entrepreneurs are doing exactly the same. Make it free at first and then once people are addicted.....start a nominal fee”

Suddenly Shiv realised that He needs to contribute too (otherwise listen to the same jargons during yearend appraisal and raise for more joints). “How about printing a Mudra for every 30ml consumed in India”

”Not a bad idea” Vishnu realised suddenly that the meeting is warming up. He switched off the iPhone so that Laxmi does not disturb Him. He hates to switch off the gadget which was personally gifted to him by Steve, but today it’s a matter of life and death. Pondering over Bholebom’s idea, Vishnu made a rough mental calculation of the Mudra numbers. He did not like what He got.

“We need much more than that”. Vishnu declared

The trio tried everything at their disposal but nothing really came out. When they were about to call it a day, it struck the trinity that why not capitalise the very fact that is making the Indralok bankrupt.

“Let’s print a Mudra for every act of corruption that a babu or neta commits” The trio cried in unison......And thus the heaven survived to live another lifetime

Daag

Mor bisonaat eta daag aase

Tair logot moi xodai xuo

Bisona sador khon dhuleo daag tu thaaki jai

Raati xuwaar xomoyot akou amoni kore

Edin raati moi ghuri oha naasilu

Tai sakumudi moloi roi aasile

Gotei raati axaar baraxunot titi

Xei dina raati bhija daag tu mouna hoi gol

Moi aaru mor abhimaani daag

Joubonor bheta di rakhibo nuwara baanot phura

Eta kamonaar tej ronga saneki

Moi khaali anguli bulai jao

Aaru tai gun gunai

Xaap

Xaapor dore tai pori thake potharot

Tair dehot ajoshro futaa

Xei futaare paani olai

Xei paanire pothar knone xaponor kathiya pare

Edin xaap daal mori thaakil

Bondho hoi gol tair randhra dhaar

Bukur kothiya pelaai pothaar nirob hoi gol

Moi etiya edaal xaap bisaari aasu

Xaponor kothiyatoli punor jeepal kariboloi

God

You wanted me to live

But I fought

You wanted me to be myself

But I aped morons

Science call you dark

Art call you God

You are a mystery

But I know the truth

You are what every person is

You want what every person has

Yet you are faceless and nonexistent

Like a void without dimension

From here to eternity

From big bang to black hole

You are what you should be

Open your door of perception

To see Him in His true state

Baan Paani

It is hard to believe that the splendor of Brahmaputra, with which I am in love, would spill into the life and soul of so many innocents. It ignites a flame that tortures me without end. Whoever has experienced the evils of flood that Brahmaputra brings in every year, knows the ills that comes upon lesser mortals. A man fears everything divine, but whenever a man made (or lack of it) cheers on destructive voyage, its plain agony and helplessness. Do we need another Noah in Assam to save us from the massacre?

An average Assamese works in a rainy, muddy, cold and damp environment for most of his life but still dreads the sight of an embattled farmer on a littered village devastated by the deluge. Why can’t we stop the overwhelming power of flood that comes to Assam every year like a festival of death & disease? The limit to do so exists only in the mindset.

Flood may be unpreventable but damages can be prevented. For most part of India, water is an asset but for Assam it’s an enemy. It’s time to think for the policy makers and administrators to turn one’s liability to other’s asset. Repetitive flood is a slap on our progress and we can no longer afford the high cost of natural disasters.

Let’s rise from the swamp full of mosquitoes to the high tide of political will with a mindset to stop this inundation.   

God...as I Know

Jagatot henu duta bhagobaan aase. Eta.....jiye manuh sristi korile....aaru eta jaak manuhe sristi korile. I believe in the God who created mankind. I hate the God created by mankind. Manuh banuwa bhagabaan nirakar, eta xaathor....bigyanor porixore dhuki nupuwa (so far) eta abuj xathor. Sei bhagobaane akol manuhoke banowa nai...teo bonaise pura brahmando. teo apurb xoktixaali kintu teo manuhor karone kunu niyom bonai di juwa nai. Manuhe banuwa bhagabaanor aakaar aase, teok worship korar nyom aaru rituals aase. Manuhor bhogobaane amaak monday brot rakhibo koi, mangso jobai kore khabo koi, kapoor ki pindhim taako koi.....aaru aami taak follow kori thaku...blindly.

The Mine by Arnab Ray

I was about to board a flight to US. The thought of 15 hrs nonstop journey that too in economy class made me restless. Thought of buying some books to kill time. Mumbai international airport has all shorts of fancy stores but not a decent book store. Anyway shortlisted 2 books – The inscrutable Indian by Anurag Mathur and May I have your attention please by Arnab Ray. I am a fan of Indian writers (thanks to English August way back in 2002). As luck would have it, I started Mr. Ray’s book first. Let me tell you, the 15 hour journey became a piece of cake. It was a laugh riot, sometimes to the amusement of fellow passengers. But that made me a great fan of greatbong Arnab Ray. After coming from US, I gave the book to my wife and she made me to search and buy the DVD of “Gunda”. I also ended up following him avidly all over the net. Finally when his 2^nd book released  The mine  I lapped it up and finished it one go

I should not have. When I finally finished the book at 4 AM, I was afraid to switch off the light and go to my bed room from living room. It is a mind blowing book. It remains with you even after you finish reading it. Mind you, if you read May I have your attention first and then The mine, you wont believe it’s the same writer.

The incidents are described in such graphic details that if you are a faint hearted, this book is not for you. Great job Mr. Ray – Keep up the good work.

Someday the world will appreciate your talent. Till such time...remember. Remember to forget