Lord Vishnu is angry. You can see it on His face. He is
walking from one end of the giant lotus where He normally lies down at this time
of the day, to the other. Not today. Today He is worried. Worried because He
has been told by a group of Devtas just now that Indralok is about to go
bankrupt. Unless He does something drastic and quick, it’s going to be the end
of the Universe.
He still remembers the day when Bramha came to Him to warn.
Brahma explained to him the revenue model of heaven. Not that He does not know about
it, but after all the incarnations and a few thousand years on the trot, even Lord
Vishnu is allowed to forget a few trivial things. Vishnu asked Brahma if those wonderful
process excellence tools, invented by human can be used up here on Indralok to save
a few bucks. “Not when Indra and his fellow Devtas consume 50,000 lit Somras everyday”
Brahma was quick to reply. “Especially not when you insist on retaining the
same old dancers like Urvashi & Menaka by doing plastic surgery” Narad was
even quicker. “But the doctors have done a wonderful job” Vishnu thought aloud but
did not say it for the fear of a stern look from Laxmi who has been insisting
on a nose job from last 3 decades. Focus Vishnu focus – He brings back his mind
to the heavenly issues again.
He calls for an emergency meeting of the Trinity council - Brahma,
Vishnu, Maheshar. Actually it’s more of a one man show. Shiv, now a day is completely
intoxicated. Nandi, apparently has experimented with so many varieties of grass
that Mahadev now does not even need a chillum. Brahma is suffering from dementia
and Vishnu wandered if the meeting will even last till lunch
“Team we have a problem” Vishnu opened with his usual calm
voice. Today He was tense
Brahma: “Oh. I must have forgotten to flush the toilet”
Shiv: “That’s why I don’t tell Parvati where I keep my collection
of..eh”
Vishnu:”Guys guys guys it’s not what you think. We have a
code RED here and I need immediate attention from all of you”
Brahma:”What is code RED”
Shiv: “Give me Reeeeeeeeed. Huh huh ha”
Vishnu:”We ARE red.
Kaput. Khallas. No more money for your phoney trips or your old age medicine
pals. Get up. Give me some hand here”
This made both Shiva and Brahma the jolt to bring them to
the senses. Vishnu explained to them the revenue model of Indralok. “As you are
aware, we print a million Mudras for every honest politician or Babu from our
beloved earthly place called India. In the last couple of centuries we got fantastic
brands like Gandhi, Ambedkar, Subhas which kept the Mudra value way below the
Dollar giving us a fiscal surplus. But all of a sudden we stopped getting
honest politicians and babus from India. Honest politicians are such a rarity
in India that the term is taught as an example of oxymoron in schools now a
days. So I need your advise on improving the situation”
Shiv:”I heard about this
guy called Anna. What about him? Can we bank on him?
Vishnu:”May be yes..may be no. The way his fellow partners
are going......I am not sure”
Brahma being the practical guy, suggested a few business
ideas. “Let’s print a Mudra for the air people breath every day. 120 Cr
people... 120 Cr Mudras everyday.”
Vishnu:”Not a bad idea. I think all the internet entrepreneurs
are doing exactly the same. Make it free at first and then once people are
addicted.....start a nominal fee”
Suddenly Shiv realised that He needs to contribute too
(otherwise listen to the same jargons during yearend appraisal and raise for
more joints). “How about printing a Mudra for every 30ml consumed in India”
”Not a bad idea” Vishnu realised suddenly that the meeting
is warming up. He switched off the iPhone so that Laxmi does not disturb Him. He
hates to switch off the gadget which was personally gifted to him by Steve, but
today it’s a matter of life and death. Pondering over Bholebom’s idea, Vishnu
made a rough mental calculation of the Mudra numbers. He did not like what He
got.
“We need much more than that”. Vishnu declared
The trio tried everything at their disposal but nothing really
came out. When they were about to call it a day, it struck the trinity that why
not capitalise the very fact that is making the Indralok bankrupt.
“Let’s
print a Mudra for every act of corruption that a babu or neta commits” The trio
cried in unison......And thus the heaven survived to live another lifetime
